5foot10

I Played Witcher 2 for Three Hours

This was also another game I’d heard cool things about and bought because of the cheap price on Steam. I did check to make sure it didn’t require a Windows Live account.

First Strike: Separate tutorial. Don’t. Just stop doing this. Reveal the mechanics of the game to me as I progress through it. Also, tutorial panels that show up all the time and pause the game? Make it stop. Let me play your game, stop pulling me out of your game world and telling me random shit that I have to close and remember what the fuck I was doing.

Second Strike: INFORMATION OVERLOAD. Jesus Christo, slow the fuck down. I have, I’m hoping, a some time to learn how to play. Let me get into your story, let me be intrigued. Let me get the hang of your movement and combat system before you start introducing systems that are unique to your game. I need time to comprehend all these goddamn runes, these potions I can only drink when I sit down to meditate, using a hotkey to focus on a target, using something called mutagens on talents or something, throwing bombs, setting traps, using my iron sword or silver sword (why the fuck is it important enough for you to tell me that they’re made of different metals?), parrying, dodging, critical attacks, all in a universe I’ve never been in before within the first hour of starting the game.

Third Strike: I know this may startle you, game developer, but I did not play the first game. Because of this, the first conversation I had with some guy with a fancy towel on his head made no goddamn sense. I wasn’t there for the events of the first game, I can’t answer him when he asks “So tell me EVERYTHING that happened at that big battle at the end of the previous game.” I could have bullshitted, maybe that was the point, but if this was meant to set up the events of the previous game that should have been made clear with one of your irritating pop up tutorial windows. Mass Effect 2 did this much better, letting you set what happened in the previous game if you didn’t have a ME1 game to import.

Three strikes, Witcher 2 is out.